Shattered Glass
by SymbolicButterfli
Summary: Before Alfred and Mattie met Francis and Arthur they lived in an abusive family. At the age of ten they were adopted into the Kirkland-bonnefoy household were they learned what love was and is supposed to be. Now at the age of seventeen they're heading into college excited to start there new lives as adults. But things don't always go as planned. With things falling apart around th
1. The Start

The start

****Warning: ED/Self-harm/Language****

"I hate you!" A blonde hair, blue eyed, boy screamed out. He ran away to his room, locking the door behind him, and went diving into the the bed as he cried into his pillows.

The boys mother came walking up to her son's door, knocking softly, but she was ignored as she heard sniffles coming from the other side of the door.

Her son was just ignoring her pleas and apologies, leaning her head against the door, she wiggled the door knob to no avail. Standing there motionless with the world crashing down.

She slowly fell to her with her hands sliding down the door. Tears falling to the floor, she held her hands close to her heart, with whispers of "I'm sorry.."

"I'm sorry." Was all the doctor could muster up to the man in front of him.

Tears came streaming down violently from his beautiful sapphire eyes. The man fell to his knees, holding himself, whaling hysterically. All the doctor could do was knelt down to lay a hand on the man, comforting him, as he cried.

A few moments passed and things started to become silent. No sound in the hospital and no sound in his mind. He looked up to the doctor with glazed red eyes to say "Thank you" with an emotionless tone.

He walked in silence. He could see people moving around him in the building. He accidentally bumped into another man walking his way. The man apologized, but the blue eyed man kept walking.

Walking out of the hospital to his car. He sat in the driver seat for a moment while all the memories flowed into his mind at once. More tears began to fall as he backed out of the parking lot and drove away.

He made his way to the closest liquor store and obtained the strongest whisky possible. The older salesman looked concerned for the man in front of him, but didn't open his mouth.

Once at home, the man took a seat in his lazy boy so he would be able to drown himself more into sorrow and pain.

Alfred awoke in a panic, sitting up taking a hold onto his shirt tightly, inhaling and exhaling violently. Meeting lavender eyes, next to him, looking to him with worry. "I tried to wake you." Matthew spoke.

Matthew reached up to wipe the stray tears off of his brothers face, but all his brother could do was look away with a pain look to his eyes. Alfred gave one more heavy exhale to calm himself down.

"The nightmares are getting worse, Mattie..." Alfred said with a shaky voice as he snuggled closer to his brother for comfort. He held onto Matthew's shirt with dear life as if this is the last time they would see each other.

Matthew gave a slight nod as he held his brother closer to him as he fell back asleep with ease. On the other hand, Alfred wouldn't be able to fall back asleep after his nightmare. He was slightly happy, at least, he had his brother next to him.

The early morning came at last with the blairing of the alarm clock. A hand underneath the covers came creeping from underneath turning the obnoxious sound of the clock off.

With a grunt, he rolled over, reaching next to him only to find the space next to him empty. He opened his right eye, lifting the covers up only to reveal he was right.

He closed his eye, moving the cover back into place, he rolled over to his right side to sleep for a little longer. After a few moments to no avail, Arthur stood up to take a fast shower.

Arthur never enjoyed sleeping alone. Once he knew his love wasn't next to him he would have to get up and start the day. It had it's pros and cons.

With finishing getting ready he made his way downstairs only to find Francis in the kitchen finishing up making breakfast. The man was wearing a purple, long sleeve, button up. Black dress pants with black dress shoes.

His blond hair was tied in a loose ponytail hanging over his right shoulder. Some of his hair was loose around his face only to emphasize how beautiful the man looked.

"Good morning, Mon amour." Francis moved gracefully to the opening of the kitchen giving his lover a soft kiss to the lips.

Arthur pulled away from the kiss with a splash of pink filling his cheeks. He tried rubbing the kiss away while Francis could only laugh.

"We've been married for a long time," Francis said as he walked over to the stove. "and yet you always blush like a schoolgirl."

Arthur was about to retaliate, but was interrupted by his son walking into the room. "Good morning, dad and papa."

"Good morning, Mathieu!" His papa said with a soft smile. He sat a plate of food down on the back of the counter, for his son.

Arthur walked over to the cabinet, grabbing him a styrofoam cups, and pouring himself fresh tea his husband just made. "Where's your brother?" He put the pot down and leaned his back on the counter looking at his son.

Matthew already took a bite of his grits, swallowing, he took a sip of his milk before he answered. "He's still getting ready."

"He needs to hurry, or he's going to miss the most important meal of the day." Francis said while washing the pots and pans he used.

Matthew only hummed in delight of the delicious food as you heard Arthur calling upstairs for his other son. "Alfred! You need to hurry up, or you'll be late!"

Arthur didn't want to deal with this again. For the past few months Alfred has seemed different. He still goes to his therapist and takes his medication, but something's been up.

He's fighting a lot more to not go to school, more than usual, he's also been more of a recluse if no one needs him. He's isolating himself. Keeping to himself even more.

Alfred walked downstairs into the kitchen giving a big yawn. "Sorry. I couldn't find my jacket." He gave a goofy smile while scratching the back of his head.

Francis chuckled as he set Alfred's plate next to his brother. Alfred took a seat next to his brother as he looked down at the food in front of him.. He felt a small tug on his shirt from his brother.

Closing his eyes, signaling a nod, he started eating. Arthur and Francis could see that their son was tired. The bags under the boys eyes were a dead giveaway.

Arthur only sighed wanting bring it up, but said nothing as he reached into his pocket grabbing his keys. He walked up to his love and gave him a kiss quickly before he left for work.

"I'll see you guys tonight." He said making his way to the front door, "Keep me posted, Francis!" Arthur slightly yelled as he walked out the front door.

"Are you okay, Alfred?" Francis asked while taking off his apron, folding it, only to put it into a drawer.

"I am, papa." He said with a smile, "you don't need to worry about me." He took the last bite out of his food. Francis only gave a sigh in defeat.

He knew his son hasn't been sleeping well. He would hear screams or whimpers at night coming from Alfred's room. Francis was happy he always had Matthew by his side to comfort him, but even so he still wished Alfred would come to them.

Francis begins to reminisce the time when he was finally able to bring the boys home. The two were inseparable, always holding hands, never really spoke to anyone. Always keeping to themselves.

Even with silence from the boys, you knew right off the bat who was the most protective. Who was the quiet and shy one.

He broke out of thought when he heard the sound of glass being set in the sink. He only gave a smile when he saw Matthieu looking at him.

"I'll be right back." Alfred said as he walked up stairs to his bathroom.

"You didn't finish your breakfast, Matthieu?" Said boy just gave a small shrug while he walked over to the pantry grabbing saran wrap.

Putting his plate up he followed behind his brother, knocking on the bathroom door. "Let me in, Alfred."

Matthieu heard the door unlock and he made his way inside. He leaned against the wall, watching his brother purge up his breakfast, with his arms crossed.

When Alfred finished he cleaned up his mess and washed his hand. He begin to brush his teeth while Matthew purged into the toilet.

Alfred looked at his brother with red glazed eyes in sorrow. He didn't like to see his brother hurt himself, or feel hurt in general, but what else is there to do for a release?

Alfred was now leaning against the wall while Matthew was getting cleaned up and brushing his teeth. They heard their Papa call up the stairs for them. Making sure everything was in order they made their way downstairs.

Alfred took a styrofoam cups from the cabinet and poured some coffee in the cup before the trio set out. The boys grabbed their bags as Francis walked out the door.

Francis made himself comfortable in the driver seat, while the boys slid into the backseat. Fixing his rearview mirror he looked at the boys. "After school, don't forget you two have an appointment."

Francis backed out of the driveway and set his course for the boy's school. "Do we need to?" Alfred asked as he pouted, crossing his arms. "We are getting older. We shouldn't need to speak to anyone!"

"Yes." He went straight to the point. "It always helps to talk your problems out, Mon lapin."

Alfred stared out the window as he heard his brother chime into the conversation. "Papa is right." He said sweetly, "it helps a lot."

Alfred wanted to argue, but he just sat there with his mouth shut. Watching buildings and cars pass by him in silence. He never enjoyed the thought of talking with someone about his issues.

He didn't want to talk about them then and he surely doesn't want to talk about them now. What is there to actually talk about? If he talked about them it'll just be a vicious circle of the same thing. The people closest to him know the story, so why talk it out?

Matthew took ahold of his brothers hand. He saw a small smile come across Alfred's face. 'We need to talk so others do not notice.' he gave a silent sigh squeezing his brother hand with little pressure.

The three pull up to the front of the school. The boys stepped out of the car grabbing their bags. Francis stepped out of the car to give the boys a hug and a kiss to the forehead.

Francis knows his boys are seventeen years old and he doesn't care. He will always hug and kiss the top of his boys head until the day he dies.

They said their goodbyes and parted ways. The boys walked into school while Francis drove to his restaurant to make sure things are still in order.

"Guten Tag, Artie!" A German man said coming up next to his blonde haired friend. He threw down a folder next to the man who stared at the computer with emerald green eyes.

Arthur broke his attention, from his work, to look over at the snowy white hair, albino, with red eyes staring back at him with a goofy smile. "Arthur." He said in an amused tone, "Good morning to you, Gilbert."

"You look like you haven't slept a wink! What's up with you?" Gilbert asked him pulling up a chair next to Arthur while sipping his coffee.

"I'll be fine." Arthur replied.

Gilbert gave a slight nod, but could only see the bags under the emerald eyes of his friend. Knowing things are still rough he wanted to ask, but he didn't pry.

"You have a new patient today." Gilbert stood up to stretch, "Don't work yourself to hard." Walking away with his hand raised.

The only think Arthur could do was grumble. He can take care of himself, he's a doctor for heaven sakes. He stood up, with chart in hand, and made his way to the new patient room.

Knocking on the door he made his way inside. "Good morning, Mr. Reynolds. How are you this morning?"

The man on the bed took a couple of coughs while he used the remote to make the bed sit up. "Terrible." Was the only word he was able to muster.

"We'll do everything we can to get you better." Arthur said with determination.

He asked his patient more questions about his condition to get more insight. He also called in for some test to be done, but he withdrew blood from his patient.

Arthur loved being involved as much as he could with his patients instead being the doctor who asks questions and signs off papers. Once he was finished he made it back to his desk, waiting for the test results, he was able to get back to his paperwork.

Alfred pulled out his math book and stuffed it into his backpack. Giving a sigh he looked to his left at his brother who was giving a small smile while waiting.

"Hey, you two!" A brown hair with a side curl, Amber eyed, boy walked up. He gave Alfred and Matthew a tight hug.

"Morning, Feli." Alfred said as he tried struggling out of the death grip his friend had on him.

Matthew was also beginning to struggle free. They felt the grip loosen and they finally could breathe correctly.

Feli went on to tell them how Ludwig has been. The German has been busy with school and hasn't been able to find time to do anything. Alfred also discussed how Kiku has been. He's been in Japan for a while, traveling.

Ludwig already graduated high school a year before them with their good friend Kiku. It was only this trio left with an add on of Lukas and Mathias.

Walking to the next class Feli went on to tell them he brought lunch. Pasta was made last night by him and his older brother Romano. Once that door opened, he began to talk about other pasta recipes he would love to try out.

Alfred and Matthew could only walk and listen to their friend who has an obsession. Matthew gave a chuckle every time Feli would go from one pasta story to another and then jump back to the first.

The three took their seats for math class only to come find out they have to do a quizz. Grones filled the air while the teacher ignored the tension in the air.

Mr. Ira, the math teacher, gave papers to the front row to pass back. Once everyone was ready it was time to start.

After what felt like years the lunch wave finally came. The boys took their seats and Feli passed out the pasta that was made. Mathias and Lukas sat next to them and also indulged in the wonderfully made pasta.

They began discussing class projects and what they were going going to do with their last summer plans. They all graduate soon and will be starting college in the fall.

"Maybe we can go on a road trip?" Alfred said excitedly while taking a bite out of his pasta.

"We don't have a car yet, Alfred." Matthew chimed in after he took a small bite out of his pasta.

"I could see if Ludwig could come with us? If not, we can do something here!" Feli went on and on about ideas for the last summer plans.

"I'll probably out for the summer with family. They can never decide where they ever want to go." Mathias spoke.

Lukas could only nod at that comment. "I agree. They do need to choose. This is the summer I'll be joining y'all."

Mathias could only blush with a smile, but he never showed as he changed the subject. "Anyways, I think that would be a great idea to see if you could pull Ludwig out of his cocoon. He's been so busy lately."

Feli started to discuss what been going on and why he was so busy. The other three started to talk about places they would like to go before the last summer ended for them.

As everything began to calm down and with it being only a few moments before they had to start their next class. Alfred took his last bite of pasta and chugged the rest of his water. "Alright, dudes! This hero needs to use the restroom." He salutes and made his way to the restroom.

Matthew set his fork down to talk to Feli about things they should do for their last ounce of freedom this summer until adulthood hits them pretty hard with adult like responsibilities.

Alfred walked into a single bathroom, locking the door, he lifted the toilet seat with his shoe. He balled up some toilet paper into his left hand and placed it on the bowl.

He stuck his fingers down his throat until his food came back up. It took a moment for all of it to finally come out, but once the deed was done he cleaned up himself and made sure there was no evidence.

School was finally wrapping up and friends were saying their "goodbyes" and "see you later" until the next day. Walking out of the school together Feli received a call from Ludwig and put it on speaker.

"Guten tag."

"Luddy! How are you?" Alfred said snickering.

You heard a sigh coming from the German, but he decided not to take the bait. "I'm good. What are you three up to this weekend?"

The three looked at each other with a shrug. "I'll take the silence as you don't know. If the three of you like to, we can have a get together Friday."

"that sounds so fun!" The Italian said with stars shining in his eyes. " We can all try this new recipe I'm learning!"

You heard the German chuckle on the other side. "Sounds good to me. Alfred!"

Alfred stiffened for a moment and then answered his friend. "Bring your games. We need to have a fun day." Alfred agreed with a smile on his face.

"Matthew, don't forget your pancakes and Maple syrup." Matthew also agreed letting him know that he would never forget.

They finished up the conversation and said their goodbyes. At that time Francis pulled up to the entrance getting out to speak with the kids.

"How was school?"

"Good! My brother and I made pasta last night and we had that for lunch." Another door opened to where he began talking to himself about pasta.

"It was good. I was able to pass my tests and quizzes with ease" Matthew said with a happy grin.

"I told you, Mon lapin." Francis started patting Matthew's head, "you'll do great! And you did."

"I know, papa."

Before Alfred could say how his day went, turning around, they heard someone calling out to the Frenchman in the parking lot. They saw a curly brown hair, green eyed, man walking up with an Italian, walking behind him, who has brown hair with a side curl and Amber eyes.

The Spaniard was wearing blue jeans, a white shirt, with a black vest. The italian man was wearing dark blue jeans, and a baggy gray T-shirt.

"Hello, mi amigos!" The Spaniard said with a smile plastered on his face as he walked up to Francis with the Italian on his tail.

"Bonjou, mes amis!" Francis went up to the Spaniard wrapping his arms around him.

"Going good!"

Francis released his friend with a smile, but his attention turned to the other man. Before the Italian could react he was already bounded by the arms of the Frenchman.

"Let go of me." Harsh words came out like venom.

"Honhonhon I have you now!" The Frenchman said with a devilish grin. The Italian looked over to his friend for help, but nothing came about.

"Antonio! You tomato bastard! Get this pervert off of me!" The Italian yelled trying to free himself from the man's clutches.

"Be nice, Romano." He said with a sweet smile. "We also have children here."

"I'm not a child Uncle Antonio." Alfred huffed

Matthew could only roll his eyes at his brothers comment. " of course not, Alfred."

Antonio was unable to hold in his laughter. The Frenchman's grip loosened as he looked at the Spaniard with a small chuckle.

The italian was finally able to wiggle himself out of hold his friend had around him. A moment later Feli came up only to wrap his big brother in another hug. Feli gave his brother the big Italian smile while he talked non-stop about pasta and how everyone loved the meal.

"We need to get together for drinks this weekend." Antonio threw out to get the attention of his friend.

"We need to see if Gilbert is off this weekend." The Frenchman added.

The Spaniard couldn't agree more. He loved to get this trio together for drinks, but he'll be damn if he and Francis go by themselves without Gilbert tagging along, again. They learned their lesson.

"Romano can baby-sit!" Antonio had a bright smile on his face.

The only thing Romano could do was look at the man with an eyebrow raised. "I have more important things to do then take care of adults!"

"No Amigo." Antonio shook his head, "These teenagers. Make sure they don't get into trouble."

"What can we do?" Feli asked with a slight head tilt with a innocent look to him.

Antonio looked taken back while Francis just chuckles. "I guess Romano can be our designated driver."

"I didn't sign up for this." Romano said as he walked away cussing under his breath.

Matthew tugged on his father's shirt to grab his attention. "Papa?" Franice gave him his full attention. His son went on to talk about the idea if he and Alfred could also get together with their friends this weekend.

"Ve~ it'll be great!" Feli said out in excitement.

Francis looked over two the other men to see what they thought of the idea. No one seemed to mind. Now they would have to talk to Gilbert.

"Alright, you two. We need to head out." Francis looked over to his boys, "we have important things to do." He placed his hand on top of Matthew's head.

They all said their goodbyes until the weekend comes around.

Receiving the results back from his new patient. He walked into his room to inform him that he had meningitis and must be treated immediately.

Arthur flushed out the mans IV and started him on some antibiotics. He gave him some pain medicine to help with the pain and the headaches to subside.

When Arthur finished up with everything he needed to do, making sure his patient was comfortable as much as he could be for the time being.

Arthur told the man that he will be making other rounds again soon and that he will be checked up on. Once he finished everything he was able to walk out back to his desk.

The Brit noticed a cup sitting in front of his keyboard. Steam still coming from the hot beverage. He noticed a yellow sticky note in front of the cup.

Picking up the note it read. "From the AWESOME Gilbert!" He saw a little drawing of a bird next to the man's name that had a arrow pointing to another name, "Gilbird!"

Arthur gave a slight smile and took a sip and went on his day of reckoning. Helping and talking with his patients. Having to take care of some of his non patients since some doctors were at lunch or out sick.

The boys were sitting in the waiting room for their Russian therapist. Alfred was playing on his phone while Matthew was reading a book for school.

"I don't see why we need to keep coming." Alfred spoke quietly without taking his eyes off his phone.

Matthew closed his eyes slowly with a quiet sigh. "We are not okay. You know that as much as I do."

"It's a vicious cycle to talk about the same thing over and over."

Matthew closed his book and looked over to his brother. "I know, but if this will let people know we are fine."

"I'm fine. I don't need anyone to take care of me." Alfred crossed his arms with a pout. Before Matthew could say anything he noticed the Russian man.

"Dobryy vecher, you two."

"Hey, Ivan."

"Hey, dude!"

Both boys said in unison. Ivan gave a slight smile looking at them. "I'm going to do something different today." Both boys looked at him with curious faces but also a look of nervousness.

"Don't worry. It's nothing bad." Ivan put his right hand up. "I want to talk to you two separately."

They both nodded though deep down Alfred was having a mini anxiety attack, but on the outside he looked calm with determination. Matthew on the other hand kept his composure with a smile.

"Alfred. Come with me now, da."

Alfred followed the man into the next room trying to keep his calm, but that was hard. He had his hands in his jacket pockets. They walked into the room and took their seats across from one another.

The first thing you notice walking in was the big glass window wall. On the left wall was a big shelf with all kinds of paperwork. To the right is a L-shape desk, which is neat and organized, and right next to that is another bookshelf that had all kinds of genres of books.

"Tell me what's on your mind." The Russian man sat there, legs crossed, with a pen and clipboard in hand waiting patiently for the boy to speak up.

Alfred wasn't having any of this. He and Mattie hide and share each other problems, but hate to speak to others. He's always been like that.

He always likes to figure out his own problems. Alfred doesn't need anyone, but himself... well, his brother but that's already said and done.

He sat there with his arms crossed looking to his left of the organized shelf of paperwork. He doesn't want to keep remembering his horrible past.

'Just have to wait until the fall.' he thought to himself as he shifted in his seat, laying his head in his hand, elbow on the arm chair. The Russian sat there with a amused look on his own face.

"Alfred." He called out with a deep stern tone breaking the silence. Alfred jumped in his seat, gathering his bearings, looked to the Russian with a smile.

"Yeah, dude?"

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"What's on your mind lately?" Ivan asked again.

Alfred took a moment to speak up and the Russian caught on quickly. "There's nothing to talk about." The boy sat up straight adjusting himself so he can cross his legs in the chair.

"I just don't like being here. I've been coming ever I was ten and now it's all getting old. Honestly, what else is there to talk about?"

Ivan gave a small sigh, uncrossed his legs, and put clipboard down on his desk. "I know, Alfred." He leaned forward with his hands under his chin, "All I want to do is see you are holding up. How are the nightmares?"

Alfred thought about the answer quickly, but that didn't get passed the Russian as he caught on. 'Something's up.' Quick as the pause seemed the American answered his questions with the same comeback every time. "They're fine," or "They're getting better."

Oh how much the Russian hated to hear those words coming from his mouth. He was invading the question with a easy answer. He noticed recently the boy starting to clam up.

'Why?' Was the only question he had. What does he not want to talk about? Whatever that answer may be he was ready for it to come out. He was tired with the cat or mouse games.

In the beginning he might had to walk on eggshells until the boy was comfortable with him, but not anymore. He sat up straight looking to the smiling boy with a straight face.

"How school?"

"It's going good. Boring stuff we are learning, but I get to hang with friends." The blonde responded.

Ivan gave a nod. "How about your family?"

"Papa has been busy with the restaurant while dad's been busy with the hospital." he responded again.

Alfred went on talking about how the family Dynamic was. Had some good days and bad days with the family, but not every family is perfect. He also went on to talk about how he picked up a new hobby recently.

He started to run every morning when he could. Mattie would join him at times, but not always. The Russian was happy to hear everything but he was ready for the truth. If this boy could speak of other things he can speak on how he's feeling.

"Alfred." Alfred gave the man serious focus. "I need you to tell me the truth." The boy tilted his head a slight bit. " How are you actually doing?"

Alfred did everything he could to come up with something convincing, but to no avail. His normal lines are the only thing that came to mind, but he knew Ivan was tired beating around the bush.

He knew the Russian could only take so much until he became scary. You don't want to mess with that man under any circumstances. "I'm okay." Replying with a faint smile.

The Russian rose an eyebrow as the boy went on talking. "I do have nightmares every now and again, but they're becoming better. Matthew has helped me a lot including dad and papa." Shifting uncomfortably in his chair he kept speaking, "as to answer all your questions I am okay and I have been coping well." Giving his heroic smile, "As I said before, I love to run and hanging with friends and family."

"If anything is ever bothering you, you know you can call me." Ivan spoke. Alfred gave a nod and began to speak to the Russian about other topics and random things for the rest of the therapy session.

All the Russian could think of is that he'll open up soon enough, but once an hour was up Alfred sat out in the waiting room and Matthew walked into the room.

The session went well with Ivan as Matthew is a Mastermind at hiding how he truly feels. Giving information out to what the Russian feels acceptable. He's been playing this game for a long time and has become quite the liar.

The conversation with Matthew always runs smoothly, but the Russian is beginning to think that they're running to smoothly. He has a gut feeling, but he isn't going to pry because who trusts their own gut.

When the two first came in it was Matthew who explained the story. He never held secrets, he never felt like he needed to, he was the easy going of the two.

Ivan wished Alfred would open up, but he knew deep down if something was truly wrong the little Canadian would say something. He wouldn't allow his brother to drown.

That thought still doesn't soothes the Russians mind. Alfred hasn't always been open, but he hasn't been this shut off before. The boys use to be opposite. Matthew, when they came to speak to the Russian, was the quiet one and hiding behind his brother. Alfred was the talkative one.

Alfred never spoke of his past much, he has told bits and pieces, but has never spoke about it himself. The Russian was able to know everything because of the boys parents who told the truth.

Arriving home Alfred and Matthew made their way into the kitchen. Matthew poured him some orange juice while Alfred leaned against the counter waiting for there papa.

Francis made his way into the kitchen so he could start dinner, gathering the ingredients, the boys began to help their father prepare the meal for the night.

After an hour or the Francis heard the door open letting him know his husband was home. Francis walked out into the foyer wrapping Arthur in a hug, giving him a kiss. "Oh, Mon amour. I missed you!" Squeezing tightly.

Arthur, tried his damnedest to wiggle his way out of the bone crushing hug, but was finally set free. "You don't have to constrict my airflow, frog!" He spat.

Francis smiled, walking off, ignoring his other half. "Dinner is almost ready. Go ahead and get washed up."

Arthur could only roll his emerald green eyes as he followed behind his husband. Upon entering he saw Alfred sitting on the counter.

"Get down off the counter." Arthur demanded as he crossed his arms.

"Why? I'm not hurting anything!"

"Because I said so."

"I'm not gonna break it." Alfred jumped off the counter.

Arthur gave a sigh. "Down now." He said with a stern voice. "Counters are something you shouldn't be sitting on, that's what chairs are for."

Alfred was about to say something but he decided for once that would be in his best interest. He was too tired to argue. "Besides" his father went on, "you never know if you could break it. There's a possibility for anything, but knowing you, you'd break it."

Alfred's eyes widened for a second, but Arthur never caught it as he was at the sink washing his hands. Alfred wanted to cry at the comment his father mad. 'He called me fat...' Alfred hopped off the counter, walking to the table, taking a seat next to his brother.

Arthur cleared his throat and looked up to his boys while he dried his hands off. "How was school?"

"It went well." Matthew gave a happy smile

"It was good." Alfred chimed not really caring.

The Brit nodded to what his children said. Arthur never picked up on Alfred's tone of voice, Matthew did, to anyone else it just sounded like he was tired.

Arthur is well aware that his family isn't perfect and can be dysfunctional at times, who's family isn't? With that being said he wants to try his best to be in the lives of the boys.

For being a doctor, Arthur, can still be oblivious to his children and how they're feeling. Not on purpose, but I guess he's just wishing for his son's to be okay.

Francis walked over to the dinner table and sat the food down. Everyone gathered around the table and dug into the delicious meal that was prepared. Laughter and chatter could be heard all around the table that night.

Once dinner was finished francis and Arthur started to clean up the dinner table. The boys ran up stairs, hurrying, to the bathroom.

Alfred turned on the shower while Matthew lifted the toilets lid. Alfred walked back to the counter, opened the left drawn, underneath the rubber matt was a piece of metal.

He stepped back into the shower with tears. He began purging everything until it was the taste of stomach acid in his mouth. Tears violently fell to the tub floor as red lines began to form on his arms.

Droplets of blood started rising up until the water hit the marks to make it flow faster. He started moving the metal slowly and deeply.

Matthew finished up his session and cleaned up everything to how it was. Sitting on the toilet he waited for his brother to be done with the shower.

Alfred fell to his knees silently, breaking even more. The stream of tears wouldn't stop falling. Remembering everything that has happened in the past to him and his brother.

How he wasn't able to always protect his little brother. He was week. He couldn't protect his brother, he failed. He covered his hand over his mouth, trying to stay calm from screaming, shaking violently.


	2. Just Stress, or More?

***Warning: Self-Harm/Eating Disorder/Language***

Alfred awoke with another panic attack. He laid still starring at the ceiling for a few moments with glazed eyes. He gave a grunt when he was sitting up and reached over to his bedside table. He moved his hand next to his pillow to grab his phone.

Looking at the time all he was able to mutter in a groggy tone was "Fuck..." He sat there for a moment, thinking to himself, but decided to get up anyways. Throwing his legs over the bed he stopped to rub his face.

"Three in the morning..."

Staggering to his dresser he pulled out his clothes to go running before the school day started. He threw on some black shorts and a black, fit-tight, long sleeve shirt that is now loose on him. He took a moment to check himself in his dresser mirror until he walked his way into his bathroom.

Stepping on the scale he was weighing in at 140lbs(63Kg). Disappointed he just stared himself down in the mirror, taking in all the imperfections his body held. He stared pinching at the fat on his arm, to his legs, and stopping at his stomach.

All he could do was pinch the fat rolls between his fingers. Tears began to fall to the floor, he looked into the mirror, all he could see was huge person looking back at him in the mirror. That person was himself.

He quickly wiped the tears that fell, getting back his determination, he quietly made his way downstairs. Walking to the fridge, he glanced over the wonderful food in front of him, but took a water bottle instead. He left the hose without leaving a note.

Locking the door behind him, walking down the last step, Alfred set off running. Taking off to the park that is close to his house. He smiled and said "Hi" to the other passerby's, he stopped for a moment and took a sip of water, and went on his way.

Making it to the entrance of the park, he took another sip of his water, as he looked out to the huge opened park before him. Looking far back into the park is a huge beautiful lake, in the middle was jungle gyms and swings for the children, and had crosswalks all around. He headed down to the lake while taking in the scenery of the people walking and the children playing.

Alfred gave a small smile when he saw a little blonde boy run up to his mom who had long beautiful blonde hair that went down to her waist. The mother smiled brightly wrapping her son in her arms.

Alfred hung his head watching his feet step one foot in front of the other, he kept following the path until looking up. Coming to a curve in the sidewalk he started walking off the path to make it to the lake.

Standing in front of the lake he noticed the ducks swimming and how the sun's rays started to hit the rifles of the water to make it look like diamonds. He turned to his right and saw a gorgeous Willow tree and started walking towards it with a small smile creeping up on his lips.

Touching the trunk of the tree he slowly moved his hand down across it. He turned his back to the tree and sat at the base, looking up he watches the branches swiftly move through the small breeze that started up.

Closing his eyes he started daydreaming, leaning his back to the tree, he crossed his his arm. Staring ahead of him watching people walk in the park, but before he knew it he fell asleep.

Alfred immediately woke up sitting up quickly. Looking around he found out he was in his room- "Wait.." He spoke. He jumped off the bed quickly ran over to the mirror he had hanging on the closet door. He stood there for a moment in a daze wondering who was staring back at him. His eyes widened and screamed as loud as his lungs would allow.

He heard thumping down the hall once he stopped screaming. Someone started calling out to him in worry. Quickly looking to the door someone burst it open. A women? She had long blonde wavy hair, lavender eyes, and tan looking skin. Alfred eyes widen as he was in shocked looking at the women before him.

"Mom?"

"Are you okay, sweetie?" His mom came to him kneeling down on one knee observing the boy. She studied her son but quickly noticed everything was okay with his Captain America shirt and his blue PJ pants. "Alfred, sweetheart. It's okay. Everything's okay." She held her son closely.

Alfred was still in shock, unable to form any kind sentence, his mother pulled away a little bit as she shook him just to see if she can get him out of his odd trance. Alfred shook his head violently and was about to speak, but before he said anything he heard a soft voice call out to his mother in the doorway.

"Momma..."

Alfred and his mother look towards the doorway to see a little blonde boy who had lavender eyes and pale skin. In his right hand he was holding the paw of his bear while he was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with his other hand. He was wearing a white shirt that had a plate of stacked pancakes, with syrup being poured into it, and white PJ pants.

"Mattie?"

Mattie looked at his brother with a small smile. "Did you have a nightmare again?" Matthew walked over to his brother and hugged him.

Their mother gave them both a smile as she joined the hug. "Okay, you two. Let's eat breakfast and then we'll go to the park! How about that?"

Alfred and Matthew eyes went wide with joy and their smiles became huge. Matthew nodded in excitement, but Alfred began jumping up and down.

"Alright!" The boy's mother stood up and walked out of the room with both of the little ones following her.

After breakfast, and getting everything together, the family was finally off to the park. Being there they were able to play on the playground, play on the swings, and able to chase or be chased by the ducks.

When lunch came around they gathered under a Willow tree and ate their meal. Looking out to the lake and watching the ducks, or they watched other people walking around and hanging with family

Alfred looked up to the beautiful tree and gave the happiest smile he could he loved how beautiful this tree was.. Matthew, who sat across from Alfred, he took a bite out of his sandwich. Their mother sat in between them while she took a sip of her water.

The wind started blowing just enough for Kumajiro to fall over from a failed attempt of a sitting position. Matthew then put his sandwich down to fix him.

"What would you two like to do for your sixth birthday party?"

Alfred and Matthew looked at each other, but started thinking. They haven't really thought about their birthday. They're just happy it's summertime and they don't have to deal with school.

Alfred lifted his index finger up in the air. "A superhero party!" He smiled as he felt like he made a wonderful idea.

Matthew shook his head. "Ice skating!"

Alfred looked over to his brother intrigued and nodding in agreement. Their mother smiled a bright warm smile. "We can do both."

Both boys cheered in happiness as they could not hold in there excitement for their birthday to come. Alfred stood up with his hand out waiting for his brother to take a hold. Matthew reached for his brothers hand and was snatched up immediately.

The boys ran around playing tag with each other while their mom sat watching them closely with a big smile across her face. Running around in circles the boys laughed happily with each other.

Alfred stopped in his tracks when he felt a vibration coming from his right pocket of his shorts. He started to rub his eyes as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket.

"Hello?" He said before he yawned.

"ALFRED!" Said boy jumped, with the phone dropping to the ground, when he heard his name being yelled over the phone.. He quickly picked the phone back up, slightly away from his ear, until the person on the other side of the phone calmed down.

"Dad?"

Arthur began to cuss under his breath as he started pacing around in the break room. "Where the bloody hell are you!?"

Alfred looked around for a moment to even fathom what happen and honestly to remember where he was. Then it finally hit him that he was still under the Willow tree.

"I'm at the park." He replied as he rubbed his eyes making his glasses push up his head a little bit.

"You did not think to leave us a note you bloody git!?" The voice of irritation said, "You think it's okay to give your Papa and I a heart attack!?"

Alfred stopped rubbing his eyes and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "Dad-" Alfred was cut off by the angry Brit. "No! I want you home right now."

"Dad!" Alfred yelled. "Listen to me!"

Arthur was taken back for a moment. Sighing, he pinched in-between his eyebrows. "You know you are in trouble." He said in a low growl.

Alfred stood up and began his walk back to the house while talking to his father. "I decided to go for a run when I woke up this morning."

Arthur took a seat at the break table, "That doesn't explain to as to why you missed school." Alfred was taken back at the comment. He stop dead in his track, taking the phone away from his ear, he checked the time which read eleven forty-two 'It's almost lunch time' he thought.

"It's almost lunch time." The Brit stated on the other side of the the line.

Alfred scratched the back of his head trying to come up with the words to tell his father what had happened, but because Arthur is his father he knows anything small can set him off. Sighing heavily Alfred started telling his father about him falling asleep.

The Brit never commented back, but Alfred could tell his father wanted to yell. That still wasn't enough of a reason for his son to miss school. Arthur just sighed. "Alfred, just go home and do not do this again." He wanted to still argue with his son, but what good would it do at this moment?

Alfred was about to agree until he heard a click, he pulled the phone away to look at it, only to find out his father hung up on him. Alfred then began to run back home so he doesn't get into anymore trouble, then he already is, with his parents. 'i can't believe I forgot to write a note' he thought, 'I fucked up! Fuck!'

Alfred unlocked the door, picked up a package that was hidden behind a plant, and proceeded to bring it inside. Once he walked into the kitchen he was faced with a worried and angry Frenchman..

"Where have you been?" Francis asked as he was trying to sound angry, but it came out more of a worried tone.

Alfred rubbed the back of his neck and looked to the ground as he always had done growing up. He hated being in trouble and being a nuisance to his parents. Alfred started thinking on what to say until he felt arms wrapping around him tightly.

"I was worried to death, Mon lapin." He pushed lightly out of the hug still holding onto Alfred's shoulders. "We didn't know what happened to you. We were about to call the police!"

Alfred looked into his father's eyes with a sad look upon his face. "I'm sorry, Papa." Alfred stated. "I woke up early this morning not able to go back to sleep."

Francis gave a his son another hug, longer then the last, as he gave a nod. Pulling away he patted his son on the head and left his hand there. "Please don't worry us like that again." Alfred could only nod at the comment.

His father walked over to the coffee pot turning it on for his son then making his way to the fridge. Grabbing a plate he started heating it up.

"I wasn't thinking. I was running in the park when I sat underneath the Willow tree. I didn't know I dozed off.." He said as memories of his dream flooded back into memory. Standing there remembering all the boy wanted to do was cry, but advised against it.

He felt a hand touch his face Alfred looked to the source and saw his father in front of him. "Mon Fils, what's wrong?" Alfred shook his head and gave his father a big smile with lights shining in his eyes. "I'm good!"

Francis wanted to push his son for more questions, but he knew the conversation wouldn't move to far. He walked over to the microwave, taking the plate, and setting it on the back counter for his son.

Alfred was adamant that he wasn't hungry, but his father talked him into it. The boy sat at the counter looking at the breakfast he had with happy soulless eyes. 'Papa did go through all that trouble to reheat the food...' He hated himself with every bite.

He stood up from finishing his meal and walked to the dishwasher to place his dishes. He told his father he was going to take a shower. Turning the shower on and playing music with his blue tooth speaker.

Lifting the seat of the toilet up he started to make himself purge everything he consumed. Finishing the session, he cleaned his face and hands off, and sat down on the tile floor. With his back against the wall and his knees to his chest.

Flashbacks began to vividly run his mind. Seeing his mother and father together holding hands, happily, reaching out to Alfred and Matthew for a family hug. The time when they stayed up all night watching movies all night, or baking family meals together.

Alfred stood up dazed tired of thinking about the past memories that he use to have. He walked over to the drawer picking up his piece of metal and taking it back to the shower.

Putting the metal to his stomach he carved the word "STOP." He was numb to the pain, not feeling anything. He didn't even know how he wanted to feel about this. Blood slowly seeping through the lines.

He then started cutting random lines all over his stomach, some were deep, and others looked like cat scratches. The blood filling each line with red as it fell to the tub ground floor.

He smiled, once he was done, looking down at his stomach while the water spraying down on it to make it sting. He sat down in the tub to let the hot water hit him for a while.

_  
Matthew checked his phone once he had free time between classes. Looking through his messages he saw his Papa told him Alfred was at home safe. Giving a big sigh of relief. 'I'm so happy.' he thought to himself as he put his phone back into his pocket. Matthew walked towards his circle of friends to give them the news.

"They found him." Matthew said as he came up to his circle friends.

"Ve~ Where was he?" Asked the Italian that gave his full attention to his Canadian friend.

"That I don't know." He said, "Papa never said."

"I'm happy Alfred is okay." Mathias added.

"He must have been at McDonald's this whole time." The Lukas chimed in.

"He might have!" Feliciano replied as he was looking over at Ludwig.

"Probably." The Canadian whispered thinking no one heard him, but Mathias did. Raising an eyebrow he wanted to say something since his friends face had a concerned look, but before he could the school Bell rang out.

The four were chatting among themselves while they walked to their next class. Matthew loved everything to do with English. He loved writing and everything that went into it.

Sitting at his desk with his friends around him he was ready for this test he had coming up. Closing his books as the teacher told his class to do, passing back papers, he was ready.

_  
Arthur sat next to Gilbert while they dug into their late lunch. Gilbert was chowing down on some french fries while Arthur had his legs crossed over one another and his arms crossed. Staring down at his food just lost in thought.

Gilbert looked to his friend before he took a bit out of his french fry, putting it down he waved his hand in front of Arthur's face trying to break him of the trance he got himself in. "Earth to Artie!"

Arthur jumped slightly, not expecting anything like that to happen, he looked over to Gilbert. "It's Arthur, you git!" He scowled.

Gilbert started laughing at his friend while whipping a tear. "Hey, I know you're a deep thinker, but not that deep. Something's up." He pointed out.

Arthur shook his head but said nothing to the German. Standing up he walked away from his meal without touching it. The German man was worried on the inside but his face was showing curiosity while watching the Brit walk away. Grabbing the other man's food he followed behind the Brit.

"Arthur." He said seriously, "what's wrong?" Grabbing his teammate by the arm spinning him around. Arthur stood wide eye at the moment, but said nothing as he stared down.

"Is it about the boys?"

Arthur nodded at the comment while he brushed Gilbert's hand away. Giving a sigh he started talking. "Yes." Gilbert still looking serious, " I'm worried about Alfred." He stated.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow waiting for Arthur to continue. "Ivan told Francis and I that Alfred has been closing up more." Arthur looked at the ground with a sad look, "I'm worried if everything is now getting to him, but he won't let anyone in!"

"Matthew on the other hand seems to be copping well, but Ivan is still not certain." He kept going on to say, "He believes Matthew might now be starting to close his walls up."

"That is strange." Added Gilbert. Raising his hand to his chin he started thinking to himself for a moment. "He should be okay, you know how strong he is. He was closed off before and you finally were able to help him open up. It could, right now, be a phase."

"For Matthew, he's always been the tricky one. Though he was in the beginning the one who opened up. Maybe he's worried about starting college?"

"Maybe." Arthur could only hope his friend was right. "You're right. They both starting college soon so it could just be that."

"I hope you're right, my friend." Arthur stated padding Gilbert on the shoulder. He walked off towards his desk while Gilbert followed close behind.

Arthur sat down to start working on patient papers. Gilbert placed Arthur's food next to him, sitting down himself, he messaged Francis to see if everything was alright on his end.

_  
Francis was sitting in a chair, legs crossed, while reading a book. There room was a decent size, once you walked into the room, to your right was a big bookshelf wrapping to the left of the wall to a big window that was centered in the middle of the room. Two chairs are set in front of the window, side by side, separated but I little round table. If you keep going right, the cherry wood door was the bathroom which their closets were. Then by the door there was a king size bed that was held by a wooden bed with two side tables with two drawers. Wrapping around to the other side of the wall were a few paintings, but nothing grand.

The Frenchman was sitting in the chair closer to the bathroom door with his legs crossed, with his small french pillow flag supporting his back. He was sitting quietly reading one of his favorite books until he heard his phone go off. Picking it up he saw a message from his friend.

Gilbert sent a message to make sure everything was going well, with a small smile on the Frenchman's face, he messaged back to let him know everything was fine. The German immediately asked about how Alfred was doing but even Francis, himself, couldn't answer that question. He wasn't so sure himself.

"I'm not sure." Francis messaged back.

"I can talk to him if you need me to, he likes talking with the awesome Gilbert!"

"You can try." Not certain that would work.

"I'm the awesome Gilbert! Why wouldn't he talk to me?"

Francis never replied back, instead he set his phone down on a table next to him. He stepped out of his room walking over to Alfred's. Knocking on the door he heard shuffling coming from the room. "Hold on!" Alfred yelled out in a nervous pitch. Quickly the boy cleaned up everything up, putting his knife under the pillow, and bandaging up his arms.

Francis stood there for a good moment until he heard the clicking of the door. "Yes, Papa?" He peaked out of his room looking to his father with a big smile.

"Would you like to come downstairs and help me with tonight's dinner?" Alfred gave a slight nod and followed right behind his father. "what are we having?"

"I'll show you." Making their way into the kitchen, Francis picked up the hamburger package, and turned around to show his son. "We are making homemade hamburgers!"

Alfred excited on the outside, but honestly in his mind he was screaming. 'Nope! I'm not eating that! Not going to!' Alfred opened the hamburger meat to mold them.

Francis brought up today's events, for Francis benefit, to see if he could open Alfred up a little bit. 'He's always calm when we make food together, he loves hamburgers, why wouldn't he open up?' Francis thought.

"So you fell asleep under that Willow tree?" Francis stated.

Alfred nodded, plate of raw burgers in hand, while they made their way to the grill to get it ready. "I did." He said as he turned on the grill. "I didn't mean to scare y'all like I did." He added.

"Don't worry, Mon Fils. It's okay. As long as you're safe." Francis said.

Once the grill was finally lit he finally placed the raw patties on the grill. Francis took in the scenery of the back yard with a grand smile. The grass was freshly cut, the pool was clean, and the shed to the right of the property was freshly painted white a couple of weeks prior.

Francis took a seat, a stone fire pit in front of him, and Alfred to the right of him cooking. Francis felt the small breeze hitting his face making his hair move in the breeze.

Francis wanted to continue the conversation, but was interrupted. "I thought you two were back here." Said a soft voice.

"Matthew!" Alfred said happily closing the lid of the grill.

"You really gave everyone a scare, you know that, right?"

Alfred could only look down with a slight shrug along with a soft sorry. He never meant to freak anyone out. How was he suppose to know that he drifted off? He was able to keep a smile plastered on his face while the three started chatting away for a bit.

Matthew went back inside to his room, not long after, he had some homework to finish up and a test to study for. He also had an essay to write for his Lit teacher and another for his history teacher.

_  
Alfred finished setting the table as Francis finished filling everyone's glasses. Hearing the door, Arthur walked inside, putting his keys down on the vanity right by the door.

"Dinner's ready!" Alfred called out.

Arthur walked into the kitchen stopping at the entryway looking to his son who was laughing with Francis. He gave a soft smile watching there interaction. Alfred looked over towards his dad giving him a smile as he walked over to the made tea and pouring him a cup.

Francis walked over to to Arthur giving him a kiss on the lips. A slight pink dust covered his face as he was about to say something his son handed him a cup of tea.

"So." Arthur raised and eyebrow towards his son.

Alfred knew exactly what that 'so' meant, so he repeated the same story he gave Francis. Still not telling them about the dream he had. Arthur still didn't want anything to do with that story as he thought it was false. The Brit thought his son wanted to skip school.

Francis put a hand on his husband shoulder, and the Brit gave a sigh. "Don't do this shit again." Arthur went on, "We both know you run in the mornings and we're not mad at that. You never came home so you scared us." Alfred just gave a nod, but didn't reply. He didn't want to set his father off on a rampage.

"Now, go get your brother for dinner." Arthur shewed his son out of the kitchen.

Alfred ran up the stairs knocking on his brothers door. "Mattie" Knocked again. "Mattie!" Knocked again. "MATTHEW!" said brother swung the door wide open with an irritated look Alfred felt a sweat drop. "Mapple! What is it?" He tried to yell with all his might, but was unsuccessful.

Mattie can yell when he truly wants to, but he really didn't want to use his energy for that. Especially for Alfred. He was worried all day for his brother and already stressed out with all the school work he needs to finish up.

"It's time for dinner!" Giving a big smile, he took a hold of his twins wrist, dragging him downstairs, without him having any room to argue.

Matthew was finally able to get his brother to release the hold that he had on him. 'He really can't tell his own strength, can he?' He thought as he rubbed his wrist. The family gathered around the table and enjoyed into the meal that was made by Alfred with the help of Francis.

_  
Francis and Arthur were sitting on their bed talking about today's events and what they should do about it all. They have no idea what's been going on with their son lately, and they need to get to the bottom of it.

"We can ground him." Arthur suggested

Francis shook his head just thinking to himself as he contemplating on what to say next. 'Maybe have a family meeting?' He kept thinking, 'Maybe I can take him out for dinner, or take a walk?' He look to his husband when he felt a hand touch his.

"I was talking to Gilbert today. He said he could be stressed about going to college."

"He's probably right." Francis agreed while placing his fingers on his chin. "The boys are going to New York for college."

"Ah, it'll be different. Will it not?" Francis looked over to his love who had a sad look to his face.

"What about Matthew?"

Francis gave a heavy sigh. "The boy could also be stressed. If something is wrong with the boy I know he will come to me."

Arthur agreed with a hum. "At least no matter what the boys know that we are here for them."

Silence fell between them and that was when he struck. Francis jumped on top of Arthur kissing his love on the lips, moving down to his neck, slight moans escaping the Brits lips. Quickly as it started the Frenchman got off the man and walked to the restroom with a smirk.

Arthur looked over at the man with a pissed reaction, but with pink dusted over his face. He was beginning to contemplate his life choices, but pushed it aside with an evil grin he ran after his husband.


End file.
